..are you serious?

Swapping picture Monday and Update Wednesday, simply because I wanted to share my ineptitude.

For a short part of this weekend I had planned to change the oil in my STi. Shockingly, 36,000 miles into my car's life, this is the first time I've had a good spot and a desire to change its oils (She's happily running on Mobile 1 Synthetic since 30,000 serivce @ smartservice).

Of course this means a couple purchases for my very empty garage. A jack and jack stand (sorry Mom, I know these would have made great Christmas gifts) were first on the list. Nothing too exciting.

So I slide under my car to take a peak. Oil plug is very accessible - but the oil filter is up underneath a protective barrier. Its like my car was designed after a rally car or something. Okay, no big deal. 5 bolts; and a broken clip (grrr), I have enough accessibility to my filter. With the oil fully drained I reach for my self adjusting oil filter wrench....

and the filter is smaller than the wrench will adjust to. Wonderful. I grab the new filter I bought, and the wrench fits it. Very weird. Back under the car (mind you the protective barrier is limiting my reach to my filter), yet I still can't get it to fit. Some people call these things warning signs.

Next step - Brute Force? (two workout sessions should be enough.. no?). No. (on a side note: this is how you hurt yourself - trust me).

Athletic Tape, foreign objects, bits of blood. I tried it all. No go. So off to Shucks.

First to triple check the filter I bought (@ walmart, using a torn up old book). PH3835, just like all my Imprezas. This Shucks at least had the updated electronic one that of course told me I should get... PH9715. Qua? Well, I grab that one, and what do you know - its a bunch smaller than the PH3835. Great - I figured out that walmart induced mystery, which was a very nice scapegoat if I may say-so myself. I go over to the oil wrenches and get a nice fitted one I can really put some power down on.

I get home, slide under the car with the new oil wrench.. but you guessed it. Too small. Not the filter this time, but the wrench. Are you kidding me?

Back to Shucks. Time for some official help. I have no qualms about admitting my mechanical ineptitude; though usually oil changing is within my limits. The guy at Shucks was a bit frazzled at my story as well (I say frazzled, but probably mean skeptical). We both decide (after checking the filter I bought for the 4th time), that the next step up fitted wrench is the best bet.

So, back at home, slide under the car and yep, its too small. Not the wrench this time, but back to being the filter's fault. Sooooo.. back to shucks.

At this point, 3 hours into changing my oil, I was pretty certain I had become the personal entertainment for the guys at shucks. So, I return the last wrench (I needed the 1st one I bought to fit the filter that is GOING to go on my car) and decided just to buy some huge oil filter pliers. Guarrented to fit. Great, I love guarrenties.

So, back at home, slide under my car, and yep, it fits. Now to get the filter off.

...

...

well, by the time it came off (yes, it finally did), I had to twist so hard to hold onto it the filter had nearly collapsed onto its self. I lay there on my new garage floor, literally soaked in oil (from the filter, I'm sure more of it ended up on me than in the catch can).

Luckily for me (and my car) everything else went smoothly. New filter with the new wrench went on nicely. Nothing shocking with the oil plug (like forgetting it or something - which after 4 hours, could you really blame me?).

Sunday, which was supposed to be a slue of home projects, turned into an oil change, and then me blowing things up on my Xbox360 to forget said oil change.


And to cap it all off - that evening I couldn't open a freak'n jar of spaghetti sauce. Lucky for me that guarantee to fit any oil filter pliers also fits spaghetti jars. I have to admit, there was a bit of glee in my as I showed that jar who was boss.